Saturday, December 12, 2015

If I were the devil | Parenting & Divorce


So, this is my mom and dad.


Aren't they just the cutest thing since sliced bread? 
Pretty much, if you were wondering what the answer was.

So why do we have them? Not just limited to my parents, but think about your parents, maybe even step parents or grandparents. I know from my viewpoint and many of my classmates viewpoints that the purpose of parents includes many things. They are there to help nurture us, to protect us, to raise us to be respectful people and citizens, to provide for our many needs, to teach us, and most especially, "to protect and prepare...children to survive and thrive."

Our parents are given to us for a reason. And I'm especially grateful for them, because I would have died those first few months without their nurturing. I wouldn't have the knowledge and wisdom I have now without their direction and guidance. And it was HARD. Harder on them more than it was ever hard on me. I personally don't know, I haven't had the privilege to be a parent yet. But I know it's hard. And I truly believe it's so hard because that's when we grow the most, is when things get a LOT harder. 

       God gave us TIME to be a parent. 

People nowadays make the excuse that they don’t have TIME or BUDGET to be a parent. They weigh it as a financial and personal disadvantage. Society is leaning towards individualism and selfishness, and it makes me think about a phrase that my professor always uses that has stuck in my brain. "If I were the devil...."

If I were the devil, I would influence people to think that parenthood is too expensive or too much time. I would make you think that you can't be what you want to be with kids to take to school and food to cook and laundry to fold. I would make everyone think it's not worth it, and force them to think it's better to just do what you want. People LISTEN to Satan, and the desire to become a parent within the bounds of marriage is constantly becoming less and less common. Isn't that so sad?? 

If I were the devil....

Yes, parenthood is rough. There are sleepless nights staying up with your newborn who just doesn't seem to have the ability to sleep. There are days when your teenager cuts the very last string. There are times when all you want to do is rewind so you can finish that law degree. 

But there is also nothing more fulfilling, more rewarding, more joyful, more amazing, than parenthood. I know because God has promised us all that it will be that way! Parenthood is a divine gift from Heavenly Father. There is a beautiful reason why we have parents and why we can be parents. 

Now, I'm not saying that we're perfect. 




I know, I know, looking at this picture of us may give you the impression that we are. 

We're NOT. The coat I'm wearing is actually about 5 years old, and there's a button missing and a big hole in the lining. My brother's zipper could be undone. There's mud on all of our shoes just out of sight of your eyeballs. We're not a perfect family by any means. And that implies there are issues and kinks we have to work out, because we're humans.

In class we discussed specifically about divorce. We went over the statistics, the tragedies, the effects it has upon the man, woman, children, and extended families. All the sad stuff. But what really grabbed me was what happens when a couple starts talking about the "D" word....

It's honestly exactly like this photo. 


A huge signal flare. FOR HELP. When one or the other of the couple starts to talk about it, it is a cry for help, whether it be about emotional, mental, and physical assistance. We all NEED help people. Why don't we just give it to each other?? They just crave that help, and often times the problem many people face when considering divorce is ANGER and MISCOMMUNICATION. We don't TALK about it....We don't TAKE TIME and get over ourselves enough to say what we really feel, what's really going on in our heads. We feel more comfortable in our little bubble of not telling him or her about this. So we let it fester, let the anger inside of us grow.

Anger is usually central in divorce. When we act in anger, thats when we come closer to being an animal…acting out, lashing out, with less control. We act in a way we wouldn't normally respond and talk when we are angry. And the consequences are monumental and extremely hard to erase. 

If I were the devil, I would use the natural "animal" inside of humans to make them angry, especially to those around them that matter the most. I would make them think it's alright not to talk to husband about the ache inside, because he doesn't care anyways. He's always at work. If I were the devil, I would make you lose your hope. In your communication, your spouse, your marriage, your family, your everything. Everything that really matters, I WOULD TWIST. 

Please remember what the devil is doing. The family is being torn apart, because HE is working overtime, and we're letting our armor get rusty and loose. 

Don't you dare let him win. And don't you dare let him in.